Score:
Plot: 1
Acting: 1
Visual: 1
Sound: 1
Nudity: None
Gore: None |
I've seen 1000's of movies, many of them motorcycles related. Some were great, some good and some bad, but Samurai Vampire Bikers From Hell has its own category of the absolutely worst movie I've seen. Ever! It's not even a biker movie, despite the title, since the motorcycle appears during the credits, and briefly in one scene.
The sound is awful, they obviously used the onboard microphone of their iPhone camera (maybe that's an insult for the iPhone, since the video quality was worse than what a 10 year can do). The film work was nonexistent, and at one point there was a fly stuck to the camera lens, which got taken off halfway through the shot.
Scott Shaw, one of the most advanced non-Korean practitioners of the Korean martial of Hapkido in the world, "wrote", "directed, "produced" and "acted" in this so-called movie. He probably also washed the dishes. Scott is the creator of Zen Filmmaking, which requires no scripts, no rules and no definitions. In other words, "actors" just get together and spontaneously make the movie, and it shows. There is just NO acting in the movie. It's like watching zombies make a movie.
The sets looks like they were produced in the garage. No lights were used. The movie was released in 1992 (and actually won an award, the Tokyo Experimental Film Festival for best director, so there you go....). IMDB list the movie as 82 minutes long, but the movie ended at 48 minutes (maybe that's because I was fast forwarding).
Quotes: "Asian vampires are notoriously rare". "You know what it's like. You wake up in the morning, and want to wipe our your whole family". "The only real men are from hell".
Plot: I have no idea what the movie was about.
Summary; For me, world's worst movie, motorcycles or not.
Click here for many more photos of Samurai Vampire Bikers From Hell 
Click here to see Samurai Vampire Bikers's entry in the IMDB
If you insist on seeing the movie, despite my warning, click below:
There is a trailer on YouTube, but Shaw has disabled embedding, so I can't show it. You'll need to click here to see the movie trailer directly on YouTube .
Scott Shaw will probably now wome here and beat me up. 
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